My Currency Trading Kitty


Image by The Adventures of Kristin & Adam
At 2:15 AM I woke up because I couldn’t sleep, I thought I heard the subtle noise of keyboarding. As I follow the noise and make my way to the kitchen I noticed the glare of my notebook computer. As I made my way closer, I could make out the outline of what I thought was a cat. Hoping to catch whoever/whatever in the act. I quickly turned the light on and as I did, the cat quickly jumped on top of the keys. At first I thought, "Oh what a cute kitty trying to use a computer." But then I noticed his glaring eyes, and when I attempted to move the mouse away from him, he batted my hand. I said, "Come on kitty, time to get off the computer." He just stared. Getting more ferocious the more I patronized him. "Come on little kitty, time for you to be cuddled and snuggled" He started growling. "Aww…, what is the matter… did the doggie try to hump you again" … Finally he cracked. He started talking (in a James Earl Jones-type voice), "I trade the spot currency markets when you are asleep. As you dream about one day getting a raise or having a better boss, I precisely read market charts. I am quite successful. If I wasn’t for the fact that I am in the form of a cat…" He said. "I would be spending my days either in a private chateau in Southern France or on a private island in the Caribbean. I am waiting for the day that science can turn me into enough of a human-type creature to withdrawal those funds and leave this miserable existence!" Taken back, I said sarcastically, "You do that, I am going back to sleep."